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I also believe choosing a life partner is a highly important-...

no, a sacred decision, not some scary race to the finish line to "fit in." My intention is to share a voice that brings some illumination to the subject of dating - I want to encourage you to "tap in and listen," rather than "focus on the pressure to get hitched." Part of my passion for this topic is having withstood a ridiculous amount of pressure myself to couple up when, in fact, the person I was dating was "my growth lesson," not "my person." Here's my bottom line: You are unique, amazing and worthy of waiting for the right man, your divine right partner.

God is your employer." These words from Willy Mathes--now my editor and writing coach, as well--will continue steeping in me for a lifetime.

Think of Willy not so much as a scary dude with a big red ink pen and a thesaurus attached to his belt, but more of a-...

I just have a different take on the foundation and execution of it.

I have a confession to make and no it’s not like an Usher confession lol. MOST IMPORTANTLY, he understood how black men historically have denied black women her rights in order to achieve more rights for themselves. THAT IS WHY I DREAM OF A BLACK CONSCIOUS MALE SECURE IN HIS MASCULINUTY BECAUSE HE DEFINES HIS MASCULINITY.

well, if Yoda and John Keating, the inspiring teacher from Dead Poet's Society, had a baby.

Sure, he delivers up exceptional technical editorial skill (you know, the "who, whom" stuff I still struggle with), but there's another piece he provides, which I've realized is essential to me and my emerging life as a writer: the belief that we all have a divine purpose and when you're on track with yours, the world is a better place for all of us.

So, when I told Willy this and expressed how stuck I felt, he went quiet for a few moments. "You are a writer, and your job is to tune into what your true voice is saying and write that. I write now because I am in joy when I do, I'm inspired when I do, and I hope you, the reader, benefits. and really paying attention to what works and what doesn't work in the nurturing of healthy relationships. designed to further our spiritual growth if we're open and allow that.

Judy, you don't need to concern yourself with the outcome. My point of view about conscious dating is a reflection of my life: a working knowledge and understanding of "the Rules of the Game," but with a lot more brought to the table from meditating, studying and practicing the principles of inspirational works. As A Course in Miracles says, "Relationships are assignments" . My thoughts on conscious dating are a synthesis of the most enduring concepts and principles gleaned from being a spiritual seeker, with the best of what I've learned from dating and listening to others share about dating, fused with my affinity for growing things. Certainly, I think there's value in a lot of the dating material out there.

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You see, I'd been at my "other job" so long I never considered myself a writer.

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  1. But recall that I'm focussing here only on those who are using Tinder as a means to finding love in a deeper sense than that described by casual sexual encounters, friendships, or playful banter over chat to be submitted to a comic Instagram or Twitter account. If you're looking for something serious, log off and find another dating app, or stick to the physical world.

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